Published December 29, 2007
Sorry taking it down
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141,249 Literary Works • 674,329 Reviews
It's good to see she's returned to her rebelliousness. Night Mistress already picked up on the Rio thing, so I'll just go through the rest.
You don't need the comma here, and kids and concert don't need capitals.
Should just be looks.
Take the apostrophe out of 'brother's'
Should be 'my questions were answered
forcing him to crouch so that we could be eye to eye.
He would refer to them as 'my' brothers not 'the' brothers.
Spokesperson is one word.
Three, not Thee.
Should be a girl.
Should be effects.
Kid doesn't need a capital.
Should be tune.
Should be fell.
I think you mean down fall, and you don't need a comma here.
Should be 'used to'.
Heels, not heals.
Should be motioned.
Fell, not feel.
Should be were.
-Billy
Thanks for pointed it out, Bri!
Ems
“I have a message from the Rio.” he stated flatly.
I think you mean "Roi" here, right?
like i said, take the time to re-read over you stuff.
it's getting very interesting.